*winkswildworld*

I've had these hooded bath towels since before Vaughan was born and JUST NOW started using them! I just had to have Brett capture this photo opp after bathtime.

We had a lot going on this long rainy weekend. Friday we went to Wrigley Field for an employee event through Brett's employer, Careerbuilder.com. It ended up being pretty rainy so we went to Bernies to hang out for a little bit. Vaughan's first trip to Wrigley and Bernies!





There will be a bunch more of those trips to come.










Saturday was Brett's birthday and he and I got to go to dinner. It was so nice. We could barely remember the last time just the two of us got out!

We spent a lot of time indoors because of the rain so Vaughan spent a lot of time in the Johnny Jump up!















Then came Sunday night. Vaughan woke up around 10pm with a terrible cold. Poor thing. We were both up all night. I think the longest stretch of sleep we both got was 40 minutes. We didn't go to Shannon's last week to AVOID the cold and she got one anyway!! Just the way things have been going for us lately. Monday I stayed home with her. She was pretty miserable until she got in a really good 3 hour nap. Here she is... sick, but still trying to smile for me.


















This morning was FREEZING, in the 40's, and I had to go to work and drop Vaughan off at Shannon's, she seems to be feeling a little better. I had this white bear snuggle suit from before Vaughan was born, and she couldn't fit into it before, but this morning...

I cannot take it anymore. I am going to lose it. Between not having enough milk for Vaughan, pumping and not getting any milk, the childcare issues, work issues, having our house on the market and having it spic-and-span for the showings that pop up outta no where, I am seriously on the edge. I am sitting at work, near tears, shaking. We really need to sell the house but on the days I work it's impossible for me to have the house ready, plus Buford is there in his crate and there is nothing I can do with him. So I totally beat myself up about that. Which I know that I shouldn't but we REALLY need to sell the house!!!
I pump at work and home 'til my nipples (sorry, if TMI) are frickin' purple and sore and still cannot squeeze out enough for the next work day. Work, schmerk. Ugh. I cannot focus here. All I do is worry and think about what I should-could-would be doing if I wasn't here. And then the money worries creep in. I know, you will all say, "just don't worry so much". That's not happenin'. It's in my genes. I come from a long line of worrywarts. My Mom is a worrywart, my Dad is a worrywart, my Grandmas are both worrywarts. It's just a sickness that no matter what I do, I cannot stop. Please tell me I am not nuts!

Words cannot express how tired I am of having to sit on the toilet in the hole in the wall bathroom at my work pumping three times a day!!! I am still trying to pump three times to get enough milk for the next day but I am so incredibly busy on Mondays because I haven't been here since Wednesday. My freezer supply is gone and the stress level has risen. I absolutely dread coming to work on Mondays thinking and thinking and hoping that I will have enough milk for Tuesday. It's a never-ending cycle that has me freaking out. Help me stop this terrible cycle! Oh, Tabby told me about this natural herb to boost my milk supply. I need to get that still. Maybe that will help? I hope.

Childcare needed for one day a week, maybe more... preferebly someone that could come to my house to watch Vaughan. Let me know if anyone knows of someone looking to help. Thanks