I cannot take it anymore. I am going to lose it. Between not having enough milk for Vaughan, pumping and not getting any milk, the childcare issues, work issues, having our house on the market and having it spic-and-span for the showings that pop up outta no where, I am seriously on the edge. I am sitting at work, near tears, shaking. We really need to sell the house but on the days I work it's impossible for me to have the house ready, plus Buford is there in his crate and there is nothing I can do with him. So I totally beat myself up about that. Which I know that I shouldn't but we REALLY need to sell the house!!!
I pump at work and home 'til my nipples (sorry, if TMI) are frickin' purple and sore and still cannot squeeze out enough for the next work day. Work, schmerk. Ugh. I cannot focus here. All I do is worry and think about what I should-could-would be doing if I wasn't here. And then the money worries creep in. I know, you will all say, "just don't worry so much". That's not happenin'. It's in my genes. I come from a long line of worrywarts. My Mom is a worrywart, my Dad is a worrywart, my Grandmas are both worrywarts. It's just a sickness that no matter what I do, I cannot stop. Please tell me I am not nuts!
Seriously, WTF
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4 comments:
PAH-LEASE WOMAN... you are so not alone in this matter. We have some massive stress on our shoulders as well and the only thing that gets me through the day is thinking that things will get better... and they will, they always do. Since you are feeling like you are ready to jump, just take a second to reorganize things in your head and prioritize the important things in your life. It helps even for a split second.
thanks girl. i know i am not alone. sometimes it's all so overwhelming. just too much!
Oh Mere...I wish I could just give you a hug right now! It really is going to be okay.
I read a book four years ago that totally turned around Adam and I in terms of getting finances under control. It's called Debt Proof Living. The tips we've picked up from this book have taught us to live within our means and have the finacial safety net we need not to stress when life wreaks havoc on finances. It has taken four years to get to a point where I feel I can "breathe", but it was a life changing book.
Pumping...take this weekend to really evaluate this. Maybe it does make sense to go down to just nursing her morning and night. Nursing should be something enjoyable and if you have had several weeks of stress with no improvement, than it may be your body telling you it's time to change again. You've done something for your daughter that no one else can do for her. Be proud of that victory and give yourself a little grace for your own peace of mind.
thanks tabby. :)
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